The Death of a Loved One

Experiencing a loss can be devastating and leaves you feeling empty inside, without words to speak, and with a heavy heart. It’s an experience that can’t be explained or described unless you have gone through it. The feelings of hurt, pain and sadness, the thoughts of confusion and worry, the questions of what happen and why, the guilt of not being there for the person, not knowing what to do, or not doing enough, is sometimes unbearable and difficult to overcome, cope or manage. When a loved one dies, you have so many unexplainable emotions, but it’s natural to feel that way. Dealing with death is hard, and it’s hard to believe the reality of it when it happens. You may have had a loved one to die, and you may be feeling hurt, sad, angry, confused, and you may ask yourself many questions. What do I do now? How do I get over the hurt and the pain? Who do I talk to? Will the hurt ever go away? Why did God allow this to happen? There are so many questions that go through your head, and you wonder WHY? It's okay to have questions, and it's okay to feel the way you feel. It's natural.

Seeking professional help will decrease the hurt, pain, and feelings of sadness, and talking and spending time with friends and family helps as well. Thank God for your friends far and near who are there for you, who calls to listen, to just hold the phone, and who sends messages of encouragement and hope, but sometimes you need more. Seeking professional help, doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means you need a little extra support and guidance to help you through this difficult situation, and there's nothing wrong with that. When you don’t know what to do, when you’re hurting on the inside, when you feel like all hope is gone, trust that God has positioned people to help you, to comfort you, to listen to you, and to encourage you. I’m not saying you’re going to stop hurting immeditately, the pain will go away instantly, or the feelings of sadness will go away overnight, it's a process and it may take some time; but, whatever your time frame is, don’t let others tell you, you should be over it by now or tell you how long you should feel the way you do.

No one knows better than you, what your loved one meant to you. You don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t have to answer to others as to why you still cry and why you miss the person. In time, you will stop crying, you will stop hurting, and the feelings of sadness will go away. But, if the hurt, the pain, the sadness, and the crying continues past two weeks and you begin to feel hopeless, worthless, suicidal, refuse to get out of bed, stop spending time with friends or family, stop participating in activities you enjoy, sleeping to much or not at all, eating too much or not at all, using drugs or alcohol, spending out of control, or find yourself crying all day to the point where you get a headache, it's time to seek professional help.

There are counselors whom God has positioned to help you, to provide comfort, and be a listening ear, as you grieve the lost of your loved one. Trust the people God puts in your path to be there for you. You will get through it! You will always miss your loved one, but don’t give up hope, don’t give up on yourself, find someone to talk to, don’t go through it alone, you’re not by yourself, and help is available.